As a mother with two sons and six grandsons, I have some good advice as to the women they should avoid marrying. I am also the oldest girl in a family of eight children—four boys and four girls. This qualifies me to discuss the diverse personalities men come across.
The Word instructs that he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Prov. 18:22). It doesn’t say that every woman qualifies as a good wife. These are two completely different things. A man should be looking for a helpmate.
Because women have a tendency to be a little more complicated than men, my list of women men should never marry is just a little longer than the list I'd create of men women should never marry. Here are 13 women men should avoid:
1. Blinded Brenda. For this woman, the motto is "It's all about me." If you, as a man, consider yourself to be a catch, this most likely means you have a vision of where you see yourself in the next 10 years. Make sure your woman has the same vision. Many a man wastes his gifts on what he was created to be, only to waste his life fulfilling the vision a woman has for him. Know what you were created for, and find a helpmate who will help you get there.
2. Dominating Donna. This is a woman who doesn’t acknowledge the order God has established. She wants to redefine the Bible, as she believes it is outdated for this generation. She won’t be happy just wearing the pants. She won’t stop until she has you wearing the skirt. Don’t just walk away from this woman—run.
3. Holy Holly. This woman can be exhausting. She quotes the Bible in everything she does. She is the "only one" who hears from God correctly. She has no real joy in living. No sense of humor. If she laughed, her face would crack. Her comfort and joy come from the law of the Lord.
4. Trophy Tina. This is the woman most men are drawn to. She has all the right curves in all the right places. But just like the signs on a winding road, beware of dangerous curves ahead. When I think of a trophy, it’s only good for about a year, and then it goes to the next best thing that comes along. I’m not saying your wife shouldn’t be attractive, as I know that is important for most men. Just make sure that looks aren’t the only thing you see, because although a trophy will lose its shine over time, what’s on the inside never will.
5. Prideful Peggy. This woman has to have the best of everything—best car, biggest house, name-brand clothing. She constantly compares what she has to what others have. Her identity is wrapped up in things. She will drive a man into debt, and enough will never be enough. The Word says, “Out of the abundance of the heart a man speaks.” Listen to what she talks about. If you hear her constantly comparing herself to others, keeping this woman happy will feel like a root canal that never ends.
6. Chatty Cathy. This woman has something to say about everybody and everything. She never shuts up. She finds faults in everything. Over time she will sound like a dripping faucet that never stops.
7. Addicted Debbie. This woman is usually looking in the rearview mirror of life. She sings the "somebody done me something wrong" song to everybody and anybody who will listen. She constantly hashes and rehashes the failures or losses of life. Many times this woman will battle addictions to numb her pain, whether it’s drugs, alcohol or food. Her pains will become your worst nightmare. Remember you are looking for a helpmate, not a mate to help.
8. Broke-as-a-Joke Julie. This is a woman who has credit issues. She owes money to everybody, and she will have no sense of restraint when it comes to spending money. Just as it is important for a woman to know a man’s financial status, a man should know a woman’s. If she can’t budget her own money, she won’t have any trouble spending yours.
9. Married Mindy. You would think this would be obvious, but unfortunately it is not. If a married woman is sending you signals or if you’re married and a single woman is sending you signals, beware. If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. "Why bring the hot coals of fire into your chest?" the Bible clearly warns you. Unless a woman has a true heart change in the Lord, and not a heart change because of you, history will repeat itself.
10. Lying Linda. Listen to this woman. If she has no problem lying to family, friends and co-workers, she will have no problem lying to you. That which you fear, you cannot love. Trust will always be an issue with you. Eventually your love for her will dry up.
11. Lazy Lucille. The only place the Lord talks about laziness is in conjunction with wickedness—“You wicked, lazy servant.” God sees laziness as wicked. You will know this woman. Her house is a filthy mess, and her car looks like a trash dump. She doesn’t take care of herself in any way. She doesn’t have a healthy love for herself and won’t be able to love you correctly until she does.
12. Sad Sally. This woman has no joy. She seems sad most of the time and has the attitude of “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Attitude will determine altitude—how far you will go. Like a helium balloon, you are constantly having to pump this woman up, only to find her deflated in the morning. Look for a woman who knows how to encourage herself, and you will find one who will encourage you and won’t weigh you down.
13. Nervous Nellie. This woman is afraid of everything—afraid to drive, afraid to fly, afraid to try anything new. She will have to see it to believe it. Nervous Nellie can hold a man back from becoming the gift he was meant to be. This doesn’t mean a woman can’t balance a man to keep him from being careless. Often a woman can sense the things that men overlook. I am saying that this one can never go beyond her comfort zone. She is obsessed with illness and talks of sickness as if it is something to expect—that it’s normal and a healthy life is unusual.
I think it’s only fair to say Proverbs 31 describes several women, not just one. Solomon had several wives, and this is a combined list of many. To expect a woman to fulfill all of these qualities is unrealistic. But there are a lot of women who meet most of the guidelines in Proverbs 31. I would say the list I have summarized here would be Proverbs 32—women to avoid.
Disclaimer: Any name associated with this list is not associated with a person I personally know. Any connection is purely coincidental.
Mary Colbert is married to Dr. Don Colbert, who graduated from ORU Medical School in 1984. He then moved to central Florida where he did his internship and residency at Florida Hospital. For over 20 years, Dr. Colbert has practiced medicine in Central Florida. He is currently board certified in Family Practice and Specializing in Anti-Aging Medicine. Dr. Don Colbert is also a New York Times best selling author that has written over 40 books.