“You’re spinning out of control again / Your life feels like a sinking ship / You’re wondering how it came to this."
The first few lines of Natalie Grant’s new single, “Hurricane,” aren’t just another set of lyrics; they tell the personal story of an inner battle Grant experienced for more than a year.
“The hurricane started with the birth of my third child,” Grant told the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.
Already a mother of twin girls, Grant had a “surprise” pregnancy after being told she couldn’t have any more children. She loved her new baby daughter, Sadie, but found herself facing postpartum depression that pulled her into a dark and difficult season.
“There was an inner war—the guilt I was feeling that I was this Christian artist who was supposed to have her life together, and here I was, dealing with depression,” Grant said.
As a Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter who won the Gospel Music Association's Female Vocalist of the Year five times, Grant’s success has led many of her listeners to assume she’s always on top of the world, finding the perfect balance of marriage, motherhood and music.
Grant says that’s just not the case.
“I must give off some sort of very false impression,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t balance it at all. I’m terrible at it. That’s where the grace of God comes in. I get to wake up in the morning and try it all over again.”
Grant says focusing on God’s Word is what keeps her sane—and what helped pull her out of a season of depression.
“Get yourself in God’s Word,” Grant said. “Even if it’s only for 15 minutes in the morning. Take some time and spend it with the Lord. On the days that I don’t, those are the days I feel that crushing weight.”
On Aug. 22, Grant will lead worship at a place where studying God’s Word is a way of life—the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove.
The 1,200-acre mountain retreat is the result of Billy and Ruth Graham’s vision of a place where believers could go to be spiritually refreshed, away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
Grant is returning for a second year in a row for "An Evening at The Cove." Her last visit was in September 2012.
“It was amazing, and that’s why we’re coming back,” Grant said. “We loved it. Not only did I just love the audience, I loved the venue. It was so intimate, and the setting is unbelievable. My band stayed there in some of the cabins. It was just a time of refreshing for us.”
Grant’s latest trip to The Cove comes at a busy time, as she prepares to release her new album, Hurricane, in mid-October before going on tour—an event that used to be a family affair.
“With the twins, they never missed a show,” Grant said. “They toured with me full time. Then I had my third child, and going from two to three is really a shell shock. You’re outnumbered. You feel like this is a game-changer.”
To make sure she puts her family first, Grant has scaled back her touring a bit, and she makes a point to not be away from home longer than three days if her family isn't traveling with her.
“My calling as a wife and a mommy is first,” Grant said.
While finding that perfect balance will always be a work-in-progress, Grant is confident she’s answering God’s call in her life—as believer, singer, wife and mom.
As for the lyrics about life spinning out of control ... well, fortunately, that’s not where the story ends.
“It’s never too late, never too far ... / and when you feel the rain, call His name,” the lyrics to "Hurricane" continue.
Grant has learned that life’s storms may not cease as quickly as we’d like, but God is always there, in the midst of every struggle.
As the song promises, “He’ll find you in the hurricane.”