'Divinely Deceptive' Bible Thief Caught Red-Handed in Bizarre Heist


When Bibles began mysteriously disappearing from within the Arizona statehouse's lounge, a members-only area, the House security team got to work setting up temporary cameras to catch the unholy thief.

The Bible-bandit was found to have stashed the holy literature in various places around the statehouse including under seat cushions and in a refrigerator.

The culprit inevitably struck again, and the security cameras caught everything, sending shockwaves through the legislature.

Arizona State Rep. Stephanie Stahl Hamilton (D) was caught on video grabbing Bibles displayed in the secure lounge and re-distributing them elsewhere off-camera.

But wait, the story gets even stranger!

According to Stahl Hamilton's website, she received her Masters of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary. So, not only is she well-versed in what the Bible says, she chose the study of it as a career-path.

Also listed on her website is the statement, "She is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church USA, and is currently serving as Parish Associate at St. Mark's."

An ordained and practicing minister, a graduate of Princeton's School of Divinity, who was serving as a state representative, was not what the House security team was expecting.

Reporter David Caltabiano tweeted that Stahl called her actions a "little playful commentary" for separation of church and state.

The revelation that one of the lawmakers within the statehouse was the Scripture snatcher brought swift mockery and condemnation from Stahl's fellow representatives.

Rep. Justin Heap tweeted, "This is the weirdest story at the Capitol. Rep Stahl Hamilton (D) is an ordained 'minister' who hates Bibles. She regularly steals the Bibles out of the lounge & hides them under chairs, in the fridge, beneath cushions etc. If only the Bible had something to say about stealing..."

Speaker Pro Tempore Travis Grantham told Caltabiano that in the video Stahl Hamilton looks like someone "who's got some purpose and some intent, and they know they're doing something bad...For an ordained minister to do that, again, it's nonsensical. I have no clarity as to why it happened."

It is now being reported by outlets such as the Arizona Daily Independent that "Republican legislators have already begun private discussions about censuring Stahl Hamilton for 'disorderly conduct and theft.'"

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James Lasher is Staff Writer for Charisma Media.

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