Jayson Graves, founder of the Christian ministry Healing for the Soul, says his church rejected him when he tried to seek out help regarding his homosexual desires. The feeling of "less than" crept in due to his Mexican minority status, bullying at school and childhood abuse. That spiraled him into a plethora of sexually immoral habits.
"Thankfully for me, I never went what you would call into the lifestyle per se," Graves says. "I did some limited encounters. But for me, the development that was really strongly up here in my head, the thoughts and the feelings—those went all through my 20s after I got saved at 21—they still hung on because ... the mental images were enough to keep those unwanted same-gender attractions alive. And then when I went to tell my church about it, that's when I really felt the rejection, because they weren't prepared to handle it."
Graves says he struggled on and off with lust even after he got married, and it wasn't until his wife told him that what he was doing was technically a form of committing adultery that he realized his actions were actually hurting people. That inspired him to seek accountability from other Christians to help end this bad habit, he says on the Pure Passion Podcast on the Charisma Podcast Network.
"I never wanted to hear those words from my wife again; I never want to see that look on her face again. So I got into a group; I got connected, and I started working on a program. And so as a result, the kind of freedom that I've been walking in now, four and a half years later, is so different than before, and I'm not under that bondage anymore. ...
"I was grounded in God's Word. I started doing some personal growth work as well and just looking at, you know, the ways I was doing life and how I really was not living up to my potential. I wasn't taking risks. I wasn't pursuing God's redemptive vision for my life—I was trying to live a small, safe life. And as a result, it was boring. So who wouldn't want to act out? You know, for a lot of us, acting out is the only fun, the only adventure and even the only exercise that we got, in our addiction. So for me, I had to start taking care of myself. I got involved in running ... eating right ... I love to travel."
To listen to the entire podcast for more details on Graves' testimony, click here.
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