Abortion Leaves Father in 'Sea of Pain'

baby's hand
Tony Perry described his "profound sense of powerlessness" when his girlfriend had an abortion against his wishes [photo for illustrative purposes only]. (David Goehring/Flickr/Creative Commons)

A father has spoken movingly about the "sea of pain" he experienced after his child was aborted.

Writing for The Telegraph, Tony Perry stressed that abortion is a "choice that has an impact on men as well as women."

He was responding to an article by Daily Mail columnist Bel Mooney, where she described her decision to have an abortion as "no big deal."

Perry wrote, "For many, abortion is a big deal that can leave regrets long after that choice is made. It is also a choice that has an impact on men as well as women."

He added: "Perhaps the general assumption is that abortion doesn't really affect men. Perhaps I would have shared that assumption had I not lived through it myself."

He described his relationship with a woman several years ago that resulted in an unexpected pregnancy.

Perry tried to persuade her to keep their child, but she said it was her choice and that she wanted to have an abortion.

He spoke of his hurt at this, saying, "Nothing can describe the profound sense of powerlessness that comes with watching someone terminate a life that you helped create."

Perry continued: "I felt alone in a sea of pain, desperate to keep afloat."

He now has a wife, a son and another child on the way, but said: "At times, I can't help but look into my son's deep grey-blue eyes and wonder what his older brother or sister might have been like.

"Sadly, my story is not unique; other men have experienced the same anguish," Perry added.

He noted that men and women "both have a role to play in creating life and raising children," concluding: "Men should have a chance to be heard."

Earlier this year three women publicly said that they regret having an abortion many years after going through the experience. Speaking to a national newspaper, Evelyn Rei, Amanda Brawn and Andrea Gilbertson recalled the moments preceding their abortions and the feelings of sorrow and bereavement they felt.

Describing her experience of having an abortion at 12 weeks, Brawn said: "I had no idea how bereft and guilty I'd feel."

The Christian Institute is starting a new series focusing on abortion called "Choose Life."

Over the next few weeks people will be sharing moving and deeply personal stories of how abortion affected them.


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