More than $19.7 billion will be spent on Valentine's Day this year. This includes 180 million Valentine's Day cards and 198 million roses!
Valentine's Day is clearly a major celebration of gifts between loved ones, including spouses. Yet the grim reality is that 68 percent of church-attending men in America will romance their spouses on Valentine's Day yet view pornography within the next month.
To add to that, more than half of today's divorcees note the role of pornography. Current research shows divorce rates double when people begin watching porn. Romancing your wife on Valentine's Day is great, but it is not enough to defend against a life of hidden sexual struggles.
Why Do So Many Men Struggle to Live Sexually Pure Lives?
During the Conquer Series, Dr. James Reeves from City On A Hill in DFW notes that until we come to the end of ourselves, we can't come to the beginning of God. Instead of trying harder, those struggling with pornography can choose to recognize the inability to solve issues without God's help.
The Conquer Series is a powerful, cinematic, two-volume DVD series that is helping hundreds of thousands of men find freedom from pornography.
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Where does this begin? It starts with our view of God. Host of the Conquer Series Dr. Ted Roberts explains that what you believe about God is the most important thing about you. If you have an angry, judgmental view of God, you will be rigid, judgmental and addicted because you fail to understand God's grace.
Instead, he offers three steps to begin the healing process from sexual addiction.
- Recognize God's Unconditional Love for You
God does not hate you and He is not out to get you. He loves you and has an amazing plan for your life. Jesus loves you so much He was willing to die for your shot at eternal life. Scripture is filled with examples of the Lord's love toward us:
Psalm 86:15: But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Look at some of these reminders from God's Word regarding God's unconditional love:
John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life."
Romans 5:8: "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 8:37-39: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities nor powers, neither things present nor things to come, neither height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Identify the Wounds and Ask God for Healing
Though wounds vary greatly from one person to the next, the Conquer Series addresses that many wounds come from childhood. This may include neglect, abuse or shaming from a parent or other adult during your early years.
For others, it is the exposure to graphic sexual material at a young age. Many of those addicted to pornography today were first introduced to it at the age of 6—or younger! We are not dealing with a recent concern, but a lifelong exposure that requires long-term attention.
- Learn to Be Honest in Your Men's Group
This third area cannot be accomplished alone. You'll need a Conquer Group or similar small group of men where you can share your personal struggles and successes in the journey toward sexual purity.
Do not buy the lie that you don't need anyone else's help. If it has not worked already, your best hope is to seek God and the partnership of other brothers who will share your journey.
The best present you can give your spouse is the best you! It's not about a big show one day a year, but the little things that add up. Strengthen your marriage by becoming like Christ and dealing with areas of your life God wants you to address.
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The Conquer Series was specifically designed to prepare you to win the battle for sexual purity.
This powerful DVD series include biblical principles and daily practices to help men pursue purity and overcome the temptation to consume porn. You can join the 500,000 men in 70 countries who have learned to move beyond "not watching porn" to start living a transformed life.