I suffered with depression and often struggled with suicidal thoughts. One night I was drinking and was holding my loaded gun, trying to talk myself into pulling the trigger. God saved me that night from taking my life with a phone call. I fully believe I was going to kill myself that night but God's loving grace and mercy poured out over me.
I had my first consensual sexual experience with a girl at the age of 15. This led me into one unhealthy relationship after another. But sleeping with women was "safe" for me. It was the easy way out considering my fear and hatred toward men. All of those relationships ended the same way; with shame, regret, hurt, unmet expectations, broken promises and emotional pain. Yeah, all that and then some! And to top it all off, I tried to drink it all away. The lie I bought from Satan was that I just hadn't found the right girl ... I just needed to find her. The problem was that there was no right girl. I was absolutely, completely out of the will of God and His divine plan for my life.
One day a girl who I was trying to hook up with invited me to church, and I strongly declined. She continued to ask me ... So, I asked her, "If I agree to go with you to church ONE TIME, AND I DO MEAN ONE TIME, will you please stop asking me to go to church with you?" She agreed that if I would go one time that she would never ask me again, so I went. I remember it was in February 2007 on a Wednesday night. I cried like a baby through worship and for the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was HOME. I belonged.
I continued to go to church every time the doors opened. In April 2007, I rededicated my life to Christ. As a small child, I had made an emotional decision to be saved. I know today that I had never truly surrendered my life to follow Christ.
The Lord blessed me when I found a group of believers who struggle with same-sex attraction who truly loved me with no judgment and taught me the root causes of SSA. God's grace and His unfailing love is what set me free from the bondage of homosexuality. He gave me a way out. God has totally redeemed me and saved me from the chains of alcohol addiction and sexual sin. My heavenly Father began and will continue to heal all my hurts and fill the voids. I stand victorious and a child of the Most High King!!! Not because I deserve it but because I have a Savior who loved me first, while I was still a sinner. I have decided to walk and follow Christ. I will not let my past define me because I am who God says. I am beloved, cherished, a princess and daughter of the Lord, God Almighty!!! Thank you, Jesus, for saving me from a life that was leading me straight to hell.
(BarbWire has chosen to withhold Wendy's last name to protect her from the "LGBT" attack machine. Nobody hates like the "tolerant" left.)
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