The folks over at Cornell University are worried about "inclusive seasonal displays." That's academic code for Christmas decorations.
Cornell warned students that some "winter holiday displays" are not consistent with the university's "commitment to diversity and inclusiveness."
Among the items on their naughty list are nativity scenes, angels, crosses and mistletoe.
I'm not quite sure why they frown upon the mistletoe — unless they want to discourage young fraternity men from spreading Christmas cheer among the sorority girls.
So for the sake of inclusion Cornell University recommends ditching the baby Jesus and hemiparasitic plants.
As we all know — a university cannot achieve complete inclusiveness until they've excluded cultures or traditions they find objectionable.
"University members are reminded to be respectful of the religious diversity of our students and colleagues and are encouraged to use an inclusive approach in celebrating the holiday season," read a statement on the university's website.
They suggested "focusing on the winter season rather than a particular holiday."
Specifically, they recommended decorating with snowflakes and "trees decorated with snowflakes and other non-religious symbols."
I reached out to the university for further explanation. They tell me the policies have been in place for quite some time. However, their guidelines pertaining to religious symbols and holiday inclusivity are currently under review and will be updated next year.
I wonder if they plan on serving up pulled pork during Ramadan — for the sake of inclusivity, of course.
"I've decided that holiday decorations will not be displayed this year," Susan Even, the center's executive director, wrote in an email to staff.
"Our mission is to provide a safe, comfortable place for all students to receive their health care," she continued. "Without meaning to, some of the holiday symbols that we may display could contradict that mission."
Jeezaloo, Mizzou, who knew that festive Christmas garland could cause you to break out in hives?
"I know this decision will be disappointing to some of you, but I can assure you that the kindness, warmth and compassion that you show all students is as important now as any time of the year," Even wrote.
That means no twinkling lights or sugar plum fairies in your safe spaces, kids.
There you have it, folks. For the sake of diversity and inclusion, American universities are taking the jolly out of our holly.
Todd Starnes is host of "Fox News & Commentary," heard on hundreds of radio stations. Sign up for his American Dispatch newsletter, be sure to join his Facebook page and follow him on Twitter. His latest book is The Deplorables' Guide to Making America Great Again.
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