To be able to celebrate is a great gift. The gift of celebration is the key to make you successful in your life and relationships. To celebrate is a choice you make in your heart. It's important to see the good and to declare the good and to practically engage others in a way that highlights their strengths and focuses on their progress not their lack of progress.
You can create. It's your God-given right to create. You can create an environment of life that is stifled by criticism, negativity, seeing the worst in life, a life that's afraid to take risk, and committed to a path most familiar. However, you could just as easily choose a different life by making an agreement in your heart to celebrate. When you make an agreement to celebrate, then your life is full of affirmation, positiveness, creativity and seeing the better side of life and people. You are able to risk the known for the adventure. Life is great and worth living!
I have definitely made this critical agreement to celebrate. My story is of abuse, neglect, addiction, shame and self-hatred. Through the process of breaking old agreements and dealing with the pain supporting them, I have been able to embrace the constructive agreement of celebration. Today my life is chock-full of positive relationships with God, my wife, children, male friends, co-workers and just people around me. Today the fragrance around my life is celebration, encouragement and healing. This is the way I believe we were made to live life, in an atmosphere of celebration.
Some of you reading this are still in the process of moving from hopeless to trustful, from fearful to fearless, from guarded to giving. I understand. I've been there, and I appreciate that you have even considered stepping out of your old beliefs and behavior that were based on previous agreements. Your future is full of change and growth as you declare your agreement to celebrate life, your spouse and relationships.
You need to celebrate yourself! In your very crazy and busy life, you can often forget yourself. I remember one day I was speaking at a conference for counselors when one counselor wanted to talk with me afterward. As we got into the conversation, she wanted to add some things to her schedule. As I looked at her schedule, I said, "I don't see you on your calendar."
She paused and actually started to tear up. She realized she was abandoning herself, not celebrating herself. It is so easy to do, to agree that you're worth less than others. Your needs, desires or dreams really don't matter. The destructive agreement not to celebrate you will lead to burn out, resentment of others and a general sense of being in a rut.
You are unique as well. There will never be another you. You have interests and perspectives that need to be celebrated and discovered. Imagine if you had a day to yourself what you would do, clean more? I hope not. Yet some people have never agreed to celebrate themselves. Like my counselor friend, celebration is not on their own calendar.
Being human is challenging because you need some maintenance and celebration. Now remember if you don't agree to celebrate yourself, you will probably set up a relational network that doesn't celebrate you either. You won't have boundaries, workouts and time with friends if you have agreed not to celebrate you.
I'm not talking about being a narcissist, where it's always about you. But it's just as bad to live where you don't really exist. Choosing to celebrate your life is balancing your lifestyle so that your needs get met.
I personally like myself. I like that I have academic, spiritual and political interests. I like that I like to go for walks, runs and bike rides. I've accepted that I am responsible for managing my own needs.
My wife, children, friends or co-workers are not responsible for me, I am. I decide to agree to abandon me or celebrate me. I notice that others who are able to celebrate themselves in a healthy way also have many positive qualities.
They seem to be regularly energized as opposed to having burn out happening. They take time to enjoy life and others. I also find these people to have more creativity and spontaneity in their lives.
Yes, you have to be creative, but after all. you can burn out and spend downtime sick, or you can create time for you to stay healthy and enjoy your time. Celebration is an agreement that affects the way in which you treat everyone including yourself.
I encourage you to make an agreement to celebrate. Celebrate even yourself. After all, you are awesome, right?
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, The 7 Love Agreements. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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