I sat in the conference, annoyed and frustrated. Truthfully, I didn't really want to come and I had sneaked in the back. My attitude had been off lately, and I knew it. I desperately wanted to hear what God had to say on the matter, but honestly, I was so stuck in overdrive with all the things that had been going on in my own life, I didn't really want to listen.
I raised my hands in the worship, and very soon after being there I heard God's voice rising up from inside me. "I am resisting you." Surely that couldn't be the voice of God, but I knew it was.
"Why, God?" My words seemed very small in such a large space full of attendees. Sure, I could sit there and argue with God, but I knew it was pointless. I had felt for some time that He had been resisting me, and I knew this was God's voice. Quickly, like watching a ticker tape or a microfiche coming into focus, came the Scripture in James 4:6b, "God resists the proud." I could see it.
"Where, God? Where am I being prideful?" Pride is something we all battle in our lives, but in this moment, I was baffled. When had I been prideful, and why was it to the point that God was resisting me?
The answer soon bubbled up inside me. "When you agree with the things that you know are opposite of what I have told you, it is being prideful. You are exalting your opinion and the opinions of others over what I have said. You believe this is true more than what you believe I have said. This is a form of pride."
"Ouch, God." He was right. Truthfully, I had been through a dark couple of weeks. There had been a situation where I had felt rejected, and instead of dealing with it then, I let it spill over into other areas. That little seed was sprouting in my world. I repented quickly, and I continue to walk it out.
This revelation of pride is something that really rocked me. So often when we hear pride preached on we think of a strutting rooster. We think of those people or those times in our lives where we thought the world revolved around us. However, in the case above, this wasn't what I had been doing. But I was in pride. I had aligned myself with doubts that were contrary to God's Word and voice. I thought I knew more than God. This is still pride.
Here is a checklist for you to think about when you allow wrong thoughts to enter your mind:
- The phrase "What did God say?" needs to be the first and only question we meditate on. I had been focusing on the wrong things. The Bible and times of God speaking to me were clearly opposite of what I had been meditating on, and this was causing me to agree with those thoughts that weren't from God.
- It's not all about you. The days of this earth are drawing to a close. You don't have time to think that the world revolves around you. You must focus on what God is doing and what God has said.
- Stay humble. This doesn't mean that you become a doormat. But the second half of that scripture in James 4:6 says, "[God] He gives grace to the humble." The time I had been through before going to this conference was a time of little amounts of grace. If you want grace in your life, you must repent. You must put God, not yourself, on the throne of your life.
Remember, pride can be sneaky. It can sneak into areas that you didn't realize were there. Be on your guard for this. Ask the Lord if there are any areas in your life you need to work on. Life is too short to step into the miserable place of God resisting you. Drop your walls and run to Him. Let Him be your Poppa God. Align your thoughts to His thoughts; He knows things you do not see. Trust in Him.
Anna M. Aquino is a published author, guest minister and prophetic voice. Her books: Cursing the Church or Helping It? Exposing the spirit of Balaam, Confessions of a Ninja Mom, An Ember In Time and A Marriage In Time are available wherever books are sold. She has been on TBN, TCT, and a variety of other programs both TV and radio. Please feel free to check out her website at annamaquino.com
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