Lust is an absolute liar! It is conniving and out to destroy you, your family and your legacy. The lie is that lust is your friend, when in fact it is more like a scam artist or perpetrator. Lust comes to you as a friend during your adolescence or young adulthood.
Acting as though it understands your problems, lust will distract you from the pain of your failures and inadequacies and even support you through breakups of romantic relationships. This lie wants you to depend on its escape, comfort and medicine.
Lust is like the guy at work who is always being nice and complimenting the single mom, so eventually he can manipulate her. Lust has been a friend with false motives toward you. Lust has unconditionally accepted you, accepted your sexual thoughts without question and let you enjoy the sanctuary of a false secret life with it. Remember, none of this is real or true. But as an adolescent, you buy it hook, line and sinker.
The relationship you have with lust is very real. The lie is that lust is a friend. Lust means absolute harm, pain and destruction toward you and everyone you love. Lust is a psychopath at heart. Lust cares nothing for you but gets pleasure out of deceiving you and one day reeling you into a situation that can destroy everything in your life. To ever be lust-free, you will have to acknowledge the relationship with lust, its false benefits, and be willing to uncompromisingly end this relationship.
Once you have acknowledged the relationship, it is time to end it so you can be free from depending on lust for your needs.
First, you will need a couple of pieces of paper. I want you to write two letters to lust. The first letter may seem odd to have to write, but it’s very helpful, so trust the process. Write lust a thank-you letter for all it has done for you. Examples might include escape, fantasy and even feelings of being loved. Be as specific as possible and take as long as you need. Don’t shortcut the process. Lust has played a big part in your life. It has even befriended you. Had it not, it wouldn’t be in your life.
The second letter will include saying goodbye to lust. This letter is you ending the relationship you have with lust. Again, take as long as you need, but feel finished when you are done writing.
Finally, read these letters out loud or to another man. Reading the words out loud is another important part of this process. When you write the letters and read them out loud, you are driving a large stake in the heart of your relationship with lust.
Even though lust is a psychopathic liar inside of you, pretending to be your friend, it can come across as compassionate in regard to its own best interest. When you are trying to fight off lust, it will throw you a curve ball that seems compassionate such as: “You’re not perfect. It’s OK.” Actually, this is you rationalizing, thinking differently than God.
You can even hear the sweetness in this and other rationalizations. That sweetness, much like a siren song, allows you permission to lust, to drink in the image of that woman, filling you full of the unreal satisfaction lust brings. After all, you’re not perfect.
We all know we aren’t perfect. Lust knows that as a man of God you can kick it and all of its rationalizations out of your life for good. What lust doesn’t tell you is, even though you aren’t perfect, you do have the authority to kick it out and win every single time. You even have the authority to battle on your brother’s behalf, working together to pull lust out of his life forever.
When lust says you aren’t perfect, you are very close to a win. You can yell from your inner man as David did when facing Goliath. You don’t have to be perfect to beat lust. God is with you and lust will have no authority over your life. Lust won’t destroy you or those you love. You have the authority to tell it to leave right now. When it hears that, it must leave. {eoa}
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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