Eleven-year-old George is disrespectful. When Mom says, “No,” George uses sarcasm or a mean remark as he leaves the room. When Dad gives an instruction, George rolls his eyes or makes an offhanded remark.
Mom and Dad try to talk to George and explain why he needs to follow instructions or why Mom said, “No.” George responds disrespectfully. Mom and Dad are frustrated because nothing seems to work.
George has a problem. His pattern of expressing his displeasure is inappropriate. He needs correction. But the focus of the correction needs to be on the way he’s treating his parents.
Dr. Scott Turansky shared the scenario above in his Christian Parenting Handbook. He went on to give the steps the parents in this situation used for correcting their son’s disrespect: No more dialogue about the issue, but instead, move quickly to the process of how the child is handling the conflict. The parents corrected for George’s tone of voice, sarcasm, and poor choice of words and required a better response from him before moving forward.
This strategy began to work. Instead of getting mired in the issue—getting homework done, doing chores, etc.—they immediately focus on the real issue: the disrespect the child is using in interactions with his parents.
So what’s the one thing to do if you want respectful kids? Focus on how your child treats you—the words they use and their attitude—instead of getting sidetracked onto the specific incident at hand.
For more on this subject from Dr. Scott Turansky, click here.
For the original article, visit imom.com.
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