The Christian Girl's Dirty Little Secret

girls telling secrets
Christian women are experiencing the same bondage that men fight. (Charisma archives)

Did you know truewoman.com has a little sister blog at liesyoungwomenbelieve.com? It's a site much like the first one, though targeted at young women (mostly high school and college aged) with the goal of identifying lies and replacing them with God's Truth.

I have the privilege of running that blog, and the 30,000+ young women who visit there every month are a passion of mine. I often say that if I could, I'd put their pictures on my refrigerator (that would be a big fridge!). These are great girls who love the Lord and want to know how He calls them to live.

But they've got a secret. They're addicted to porn.

They write to us about their sin, their secrets and their shame. Here are their actual words:

"I am someone who struggles with porn, and I'm a female. How can I beat this struggle? There doesn't seem to be help for females struggling with porn. What should I do? I don't want to tell anyone because it's embarrassing, and people would judge me."
"I am also a female who struggles with the temptations of porn ... I try to stay away from the temptations, but I always seem to go back to it. I feel guilty, and I want to be free from this sin. I feel sick about it."
"I became a Christian recently, but before that I struggled with porn and masturbating. I still struggle ... I have repented of it many times, told God I'm sorry and that I will do better, but I just can't stop! I'm at my wits end, and I can't tell my mom. Please give me some advice and pray for me!!!!!!!!"

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Comments like these used to trickle in at a rate of one or two per month, but lately they've come in an avalanche. Every single day we hear from a young woman who is addicted to porn—and often porn's lustful sidekick, masturbation.

Why am I telling you this?

Because these girls are your daughters, your nieces and your neighbors. They are sitting beside you week after week in church, terrified that someone will find them out. They wear shame like a blanket. It covers them and tells them they must stay hidden, no one can know, no one will understand.

And because they do not tell, they are not free. James 5:16 gives us the anti-venom to the kind of sin that makes us sick:

"Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much."

While it's true that only God can forgive our sins, it's also true that there's tremendous power in confessing our sin to each other. Those of us with a few more years under our belt may already know this secret, but young women don't seem to. They're so afraid to disappoint us that they refuse to tell. The pull of porn is so strong that they cannot find victory on their own, and so they stay trapped in the cage of sin and shame.

Ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world.

I love those girls too much to leave them there. I'm determined to pry them out of the cage that porn creates, but I can't do it on my own. I need your help. I need you to talk to your daughters and neighbors and nieces about porn. No doubt, it's likely to be an awkward conversation, but the stakes are too high to keep avoiding it. And I need you to keep talking. Our culture offers plenty of "teachable moments" to talk about porn. Seize them!

Would you be willing to ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world? It's not a mission for the faint of heart, but one I'm afraid we can't avoid much longer.

Let's be True Women by taking a stand against the enemy in this area and fighting for those younger than us who have fallen into porn's painful pit.

 Taken from Erin Davis's blog post "That Girl's Secret Porn Addiction," found on truewoman.com. Used with permission.

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