There are a lot of articles and blogs out there giving you tips on how to better communicate with your spouse. Today, I’d like to share with you these 5 Ways Not to Communicate With Your Husband.
1. With bad timing.
All of us can have tough days. And all of us have issues we need to address with our spouses. But there are certain times that your husband does not want you to unload problems on him or give him a list of things he needs to do. When he walks in the door after work, when he’s eating dinner, when he’s out on a date with you…all of these are examples of times that should be off limits.
2. With disrespect.
Not many things will anger a man more than someone being disrespectful to him. So, wives, respect his judgment. Don’t constantly question his decisions. Respect his abilities. Give him a chance to fix the sink before you tell him you’re going to call the plumber.
3. With abstract feelings, not concrete facts.
Of course, we all know that men and women aren’t wired the same way. We also know that women communicate more with feelings and men with facts. Do you want your husband to “get it?” You can start by sharing your feelings, but then tell him exactly what you need him to do. For example, don’t just say, “Sometimes you just don’t get it” or, “I wish you would just be more understanding.” Give him specific marching orders of what you want him to do that will help change those feelings. Men can’t decipher feelings very well, but we are good at taking clear orders.
4. With multiple issues.
Most men have a fairly good ability to process things you tell them, as long as it’s one thing at a time and as long as they aren’t doing anything else when you make the request. When you throw too many things at them at one time, they may not hear anything. So that you know he hears you and understands you, have him stop what he is doing and look at you. Then, tell him one thing and have him repeat it back to you. Then you’ll know he got it.
5. With assumption.
Your husband really does want to please you. He wants to be your hero. But, he cannot read your mind. When you make assumptions and he does not come through, you’ll probably get frustrated and say things like, “You should have remembered that I don’t like pickles on my sandwich” or “Why did you buy that? You should have known that I wouldn’t like it.” Don’t assume; be clear and tell him what’s on your mind.
© 2012 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.