One pastor and author says Christians have wrongly confused chastity and celibacy and that single believers don’t necessarily have to be married to engage in sexual relationships.
Writing for the Washington Post, Bromleigh McCleneghan says Christians can have sex outside of marriage provided it is “mutually pleasurable.”
“There are those who feel that they are called to seasons of celibacy, or even years of celibacy, and if answering that call is life-giving and purposeful, then they should take it up as a spiritual discipline. But no call can be forced on an unwilling person, especially not if they find themselves single only by virtue of circumstance,” McClenghan writes.
The op-ed is an excerpt from her new book, Good Christian Sex: Why Chastity Isn’t the Only Option-And Other Things the Bible Says About Sex
“Plenty of women and men love sex, and need it—we need bodily pleasure, remember—and the abundant life for them will involve seeking out relationships of mutual pleasure. Chastity, or just sex, requires that whether we are married or unmarried, our sex lives restrain our egos, restrain our desire for physical pleasure when pursuing it would bring harm to self or other,” she says.
Except that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 that if people cannot restrain themselves from sexual desires, they should be married.
Her argument also seems contradictory to what is in Matthew, that we should pick up our crosses and follow Him. In John, Jesus told us we will have persecution, but He has overcome the world. In Hebrews, we see how He was tempted in every way we would be, but He resisted. And in Mark, Jesus tells us fornication is considered as evil as adultery.
The only Scripture reference in McClenghan’s article is John 10, where Christ called us to have life, and have it abundantly.
McClenghan is a pastor at Union Church of Hinsdale in Illinois.
According to the church website, she “is a pastor for the whole congregation, with responsibilities in worship, pastoral care, ministry leadership, teaching, and more. Her special focus is on helping people with children at home better their ability and commitment to raising those children in the Christian faith.”
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